In Which Fluff Takes on a Corporate Mascot

Come one, come all, and hear ye the tales of two teddy bears!

The Burger Bear
Friedrick was in Hollywood with Fluff. They were glad to be together. Fluff continued to do Commercials for Mc Donald’s, yet somehow people would give her dirty looks as she went down the street. She was being recognized, but not in a good way. She went to her slimy agent and said, "This isn't working out. If I am going to do these commercials, you HAVE to stop calling me Ronald! Everyone knows that I am not Ronald Mc Donald! It doesn’t make sense to call me Ronald!" Fluff's agent considered the thought for the moment, and had a light bulb flash over his head: "I've got it!" He shouted.

"Friedrick will star with you and you can be the Burger Bear Twins!" Fluff squinted her eyes at the agent and said that she would have to talk it over with Friedrick. Fluff was jealous. She didn't want to share her fame (nor infamy) with Friedrick. So she went back to her agent and hypnotized him. She said, "Under my spell you will call me THE Burger Bear!" The agent never knew what hit him. The next time a commercial was filmed Fluff snuggled up to a blanket (like the Downy Bear) and a Burger (Like Ronald) and batted her eyelashes. From then on, Fluff was seen as "that cute little Burger Bear!" (TM Mc Donald's 1995). She loved it. Friedrick never even knew that he had once had the chance to make it big. He was too busy dealing with a new arrival: grumpy cousin Frieda. And Fluff liked it that way. (More on Frieda—She likes Cheez Whiz and was jealous of Fluff, so she came to steal her money. But it didn't work because Fluff stole her Cheez whiz and... Whoops. That's for LATER.)



O Wise Zen Master
Jeanette was in Oregon. She was lonely. She also had dirty toilets. She didn't know how to clean them because she had always had Fluff and Friedrick to clean them. She would have flushed to Hollywood, but last time she flushed without a guide she got stuck and frozen in Siberia. She thought for a long time about what to do, then she realized what she COULD do: She recorded a message in R2-D2 and sent it to Obi Wan Kenobi—Whoops. A little off track. Actually, she put an ad in the newspaper for a "Flusher Guide." Finally, someone responded: A Zen Master (you know, the guy from "Karate Kid"). Anyway, he told her she must concentrate and clear her mind, blah blah blah, and a bunch of other junk. Finally she flushed, but O Wise Zen Master just took her money and ran away laughing. Jeanette, luckily, still ended up in Hollywood. In fact, she ended up in Fluff's VERY clean toilet. Secretly, Fluff and Friedrick missed Jeanette, so it was a happy reunion and Jeanette said, "Dinosaurs are purple when Gobstoppers eat figs!" Only Frieda –who was a sourpuss -- didn't feel glad. Instead, she squirted Cheez Whiz on everyone.