Do Not Weep; All Is Not Lost

Today is the last of the Friedrick and Fluff Tales of Teddy Bears. Beginning tomorrow, you will experience the drama of Lovely Lola, Wodin the Wise (that would be ME!), and their friends as they become fast friends with those two tenacious teddy bears. Until then, read this:

"It's a Bird! It's a plane! It's Ronald!!!"
The happy reunion didn't last. Someone came and interrupted: Ronald Mc Donald! He was jealous of Fluff (and at this point, who wasn't), who had stolen his job. He climbed upon a ledge and threatened to jump if he didn't get his job back. Unfortunately the ledge was only two feet off the ground. Still, all those present were worried about Ronald's well being, so they brainstormed and everyone got a chance to try and talk Ronald off of the two-foot ledge. Frieda, the sourpus, didn't get anywhere, because she is so depressing. She said, "Oh, so you lost your job, huh? Don't kill yourself over that! When you don't have any money, THEN you can die!"

"I don't have any money!" Ronald cried. And that was that.
Finally they called in another out-of-date comrade: Wayne Newton! He told Ronald of his experiences with the "Demons" and Ronald realized how lucky he was not to have furry Demons in his life, so he stepped down. Unfortunately, he sprained his ankle. He was rushed to the hospital where grumpy cousin Frieda squirted Cheez Whiz on his swollen ankle. And that was that.

Nothing More Than Feelings
Well, Fluff found after three weeks that he agent was cheating on her. He was taking more than his ten percent share—let's just leave it at that. So she fired him, and searched and searched and searched for a new agent, but one just couldn't be found. Friedrick offered to be her agent, but Fluff knew he had no experience in that sort of thing so she said, "NO!" Finally, one person (if you can call him that) answered her ad: Ploppy Kerploppus: World famous Oceanographer and T.V. Star! Whoops... Wrong plot. Unfortunately, all he could say was, "Plop plop ploppy ploppus!" Actually, he got Fluff a good job—as a singer in a night club. Fluff had a beautiful voice. But Friedrick came one night to watch and became jealous because Fluff got so much attention. Friedrick jumped up on stage and began singing (in his terrible voice) "Feeelingsss! Nothing moore thaannn feeelingsss!" Fluff was so embarrassed that she jumped off the stage and ran home crying. Friedrick felt bad, so he went home and said, "I'm sorry Fluff. I didn't mean to be a sagebrush balancing on a twig growing in sand!" Fluff sniffed and said, "Antifreeze is pink at night and yellow in day, and tastes like chocolate in winter!" Friedrick knew he was forgiven.

More Cheez Whiz
Well, Hollywood was losing its novelty. Fluff and Friedrick were bored. Luckily for them their cousin Frieda came to visit. She brought lots of Cheez Whiz with her, and she drank it with a straw. This made Fluff sick, and (since she was white) she turned a pale yellow color, and whispered, "Oh my. Carrie Fisher was better than this, So was Wayne Newton." So instead of Blowing Chunks, she flushed herself to Las Vegas. There she found a Club and got up on stage and began to do the can-can and sing "La so lo Mio (if that's how you spell it) and she was booed off the stage. She didn't know why until she realized that Big Bertha, the Trumpet playing Elephant, had been playing when she came. Bertha tried to step on her, but Fluff was too small and too quick. She decided Las Vegas was a bad idea so she went back to Hollywood, the Jealous Friedrick, the Ploppy Kerploppus, and Frieda, the Cheez Whiz gobbler. Friedrick said, "I told you so. Next time, ride a caravan of ants and you won't get saddle sores!" Fluff was humbled. Ploppy Kerploppus said, "Plopp!" And Frieda asked if anyone wanted Cheez Whiz. Everyone regretfully declined.