An Alarming Proposal

Well, Folks. It has come to my attention (thank you Friedrick and Fluff) that it has been far too long since the last Lovely Lola Adventure. Well, I checked, and they were right! So, Let’s go (Don’t forget to buckle your seatbelt)!

Masked Mal (short for Mallyre. Yes, it’s spelled funny; ask Mal why) was in love. She was perfectly smitten. In fact, it was rather sickening. So sickening, that even Lovely Lola could no longer stomach it. But the fact remained that the rest of the gang had not met her Masked Man! Mal had been suspiciously secretive. So when Mal finally planned a party to introduce him to the rest of her friends, everyone just knew it would be the event of the year!

So Lola went out to buy a new dress (she bought blue), Wodin the Wise musingly decided to wear her purple bathrobe (because it was fuzzy and she wanted everyone to compliment her on its fuzziness), Stan Q. Fitzhubert decided to wear jeans (she didn’t think Whattssis Name really cared if she dressed up), and Claudette the Crazy and Confused Chris decided to go as a matched pair of green sneakers (they didn’t realize that the event was NOT a Costume Party, like Mal’s usual events). Gordon the Goob spent three hours trying to decide what to wear, before eventually deciding that his pink and green striped pajamas would match his brown and red polka-dotted tie perfectly. All in all, it was going to be a simply smashing party!

Mal was so excited, she almost put her shoes on backwards. Her Beloved was going to meet all of her dearest friends! It was almost as exciting as the time she won the watermelon seed spitting contest! Mal knew she had to calm down, before she began to hyperventilate, but her method of alternately running in circles and jumping up and down upon her bed was NOT working! Finally, her Masked Man (whose identity will remain a Mystery until the unveiling moment) stopped Mal in Mid circle, and whispered in her ear, “Don’t forget the pudding!” Mal leapt up; she had forgotten the pudding! She was planning to have all of her guests finger paint with pudding; Mal thought it would be wonderfully tasteful (and tasty)! SO, she set to work making the ten gallons of pudding she anticipated her friends would require at the Finger Painting Station of her party!

At last, the time for the party arrived. Mal hid her Masked Man in a back room, with instructions to remain there until all the guests had arrived, and Mal had given the secret sign.

First to arrive was Wodin, in all of her purple fuzziness. She waltzed gracefully into Mal’s home, and gracefully alighted upon the sofa in a languorous reclining position, drawling, “How simply maahvelous it is to seeee you.” Next, Gordon arrived, and was somewhat unsure of himself and his attire, until he saw Wodin; then he felt all right, because at least HE hadn’t worn his bathrobe! Next, our Crazy and Confused couple arrived as the sneakers, and they felt rather silly at having dressed up as they did, but Mal, always the gracious host, smiled demurely and thanked them for their presence with no mention of their attire. At last, in style and five minutes late, Lola swept in, wearing her lovely blue gown, and slightly shocked that Wodin had beat her to the languorous position on the sofa. But Lola was composed and improvisational, so she struck up a pose at the fireplace, lazily leaning one elbow upon the mantle, while graciously greeting the other guests. There was only on person missing: Stan. Mal began to get nervous; she began to fidget. Finally, after five minutes of tense silence and waiting, Stan arrived nonchalantly, and sat at the table and propped her feet up and asked, “So, where is this guy?” Mal took her place at the head of the room, and whistled the tune of “Twinkle Little Star.” Then she announced, “I would like you all to meet my lovely um-friend….” Here she paused as he appeared dashingly into the room in a tuxedo rented especially for the occasion. “….Klepto Karl!” Mal exclaimed. Everyone clapped and then the real party commenced.

Wodin immediately moved to the pudding painting table and began a lovely reproduction of the Mona Lisa. Stan began to Eat. She was hungry. Lola didn’t move from he spot by the mantle; her elbow had smeared a bit of glue, and she was stuck to the fireplace. But, as improvisational as always, she pretended that it was because she had not interest in any of the activities (in reality, she was longing to go bobbing for apples like Claudette, but she felt too embarrassed to tell anyone she was stuck). Gordon started playing Twister—by himself. Confused Chris was indeed confused—he had no idea which of the entertaining games he should play! And the Klepto Karl began to work the room, meeting each of Mal’s best friends.

First, he walked up to Lola. After all, she was stuck to the mantle! Karl talked with Lola amiably about her study of the elusive Utahan wombats, on loan from Australia. She became rather excited by it. As she spoke rather excitedly about these elusive creatures of the outback, something …happened. But I shan’t tell you exactly what it is that happened. Let us just say that Klepto Karl was up to his tricks. Anyhow, Lola was too enraptured with the subject of her conversation to notice what was happening, indeed, too enraptured to realize that Karl had moved on to introduce himself to his next victim, er, Friend. He began talking to Stan who was nonchalantly shoving a burrito into her mouth. She was hungry. Anyway, while her mouth was too full to protest, Karl, well… You will see. Anyway, then he went to talk to Wodin, who was painting with pudding (and slurping up a good deal of the mixture as well. In fact, she had a lovely ring of pudding encircling her mouth). While she was busy extolling the wonders of Painting with Pudding, Karl did It again. Then, she was too busy licking her fingers to realize anything had happened, and Karl went to talk to Claudette who was dressed as a shoe, if you will remember. She was also bobbing for apples. She was very good at bobbing for apples. She thought it was the most enjoyable activity in the entire world. As she bobbed for apples, once again, Karl did something…. But we won’t go there right now.

Anyhow, the Party was going on simply wonderfully, until two mysterious figures swept into the room in dark cloaks and masks. It was Friedick and Fluff! And they were very bitter that they had not been invited. Mal felt rather embarrassed. But little did she know that the tiny bears had some unusual news for her! Karl was a Kleptomaniac! The guests gasped in shock. They had no idea! Fluff, in a flourish, checked his pockets and withdrew a lovely handkerchief belonging to Lola, Stan’s keys (“So THAT”S where the were!” exclaimed Stan), a pink pencil belonging to Wodin, and a shoelace belonging to Claudette. Everyone was in shock. But Karl just shrugged. Then he said he had an announcement to make. From his breast pocket, he took out a lovely diamond ring and placed it on Mal’s finger and asked her to marry him. “And I didn’t even steal it!” he said proudly, referring to the ring. Mal burst into tears and said yes, and everyone forgave Karl. And he promised never to take their things again. After all, it was only something he did when he first met people. And he always gave the stuff back, he insisted. Everyone laughed. Except Friedrick. He was still bitter that they hadn’t been invited. But Fluff just elbowed him and said, “Hush! At least there is still pudding to paint with!” Friedrick agreed, and grabbed a pawful of pudding. Then he sloshed it into Fluff’s face. “I DO feel better!” he said happily. And together they tickled Lola who was still stuck to the mantle. And that was that.