Party Time

It was the year 2000. The year of The Election. Campaigning in all parties was increasing in all ways. The major candidates Jorge Q. Shrub and Cal Bore were fighting furiously about all of the major issues. On both sides there were terrific uproars about the heinous beliefs of both parties, and how one picked his nose in grade school, and then the other one retorted that the accuser was "knobby headed buffalo," and of course that made emotions even more intense.

However, the Presidential and Vice Presidential candidates we all know and love did not belong to a party. Their supporters were becoming confused. How would they be able to vote for someone without a party? They would just have to vote for someone they liked less, but at least they had a party! As support for their cause was waning, Friedrick and Fluff accompanied their speech writer/publicity manager Lovely Lola to her home state of Oregon. They needed a break. Lola was overjoyed to be home. Nothing at the Big Yutz University could ever substitute for her wonderful friends and family in Oregon. Wodin the Wise met her and squealed with delight. Stan, Masked Mal, and Lola’s sister Claudette the Crazy were all there, too. Everyone was ever so excited to see one another again and have fun.

Friedrick and Fluff, however, were all business. They immediately sat the group down around a table, and the discussions began. At the head of the table, Friedrick and Fluff sat, with all of the others sitting at the table around them. Fluff, with all of the Future-Vice-Presidential capabilities she could muster, brought a gavel down on the table (much to Lola’s mother’s chagrin) and said loudly, "This hearing of the People’s Court is now in session. Presiding is Judge Wapner." As the group stared at her, Fluff shrugged. It was the only speech she had memorized for official occasions such as this. The group continued to stare, so Fluff said, "Look, people. I am not eloquent, but let’s get down to business. Every other candidate has a party to call their own. Even the rich guy with the big ears has a party. We want one too."

The group began to brainstorm. However, none of them were very good at brainstorming.

"Ooooh! Ooooh! I’ve got one!" shouted Stan impatiently. "You could call your party the Vidal Sassoon party, and become advocates for the fashion impaired!"
Fluff stared Stan down, and said, rather icily, "I think not." And that was that. Stan, feeling rather cross at being shot down like that, went off to sulk.
Lola began to beam, and said, "How about the Party for the Advocation of Really Tiny Yutzes, and you could call it P.A.R.T.Y. for short!" (Lola being personally a really tiny, or short if you will, Yutz from BYU felt rather strongly on this issue.) Friedrick did not like that idea because he didn¹t want people to think that his part was the Party Party, although he kind of liked the ring of it. Truthfully, he hadn’t come up with it himself so he didn’t like it. Lola was slightly perturbed, but thought nothing more of it.

Wodin began to wiggle in her seat, and Fluff stared at her, wondering if she had an idea, or if she just needed to go to the bathroom. Wodin dispelled the notion that she had to "go" by announcing her idea: "I think you should call yourself the Purpur Schildkrote party, known in English as the Purple Turtle party! People could say that you are slow, but at least you are a snazzy color!" Poor Wodin! She was really quite excited by her idea, but everyone thought it was rather terrible and began to throw potato chips at her. Stan even returned from sulking long enough to hurl a rather large couch cushion at Wodin. She was stunned for a moment, but was not hurt by the pillow throwing, or the loud guffaws of laughter.

Masked Mal was the next to offer a suggestion. "I think we should name the party The Bear party, because you guys are bears." Her suggestion was by far the best. However, it somehow lacked something.

Fluff grinned widely, and then dreamily said, "Perhaps the name of our party should be Chewbacca the Wookie Party." Friedrick smacked Fluff on the back of your head and growled in his best Scottish accent, "Get a hold of yerself! We canna be daydreamin’ ‘bout such serious matters!" Fluff bushed deeply and said, "Oh my. You are right." And she went back to thinking of ideas, however, most of them still centered around Chewbacca, the mighty Wookie. The only difference was that she did not voice them.

Just as the group was about to plunge into the depths of despair, Lola's older brother walked by and mumbled, "Wednchyukilitthubilwunkmuseprt." The whole group looked at him. His mouth was full because he was eating a creamsicle, and after he swallowed he repeated, "Why don’t you call it the Bullwinkle Moose Party?" Friedrick’s eyes shone. Fluff salivated (she wanted a creamsicle). Lola and the rest of her friends cheered. The name was perfect. After all, Friedrick and Fluff were not only big fans of Bullwinkle, but of Teddy Roosevelt as well (the teddy bear was named for him, remember?). With a grunt, the brother retreated into the living room while the newly formed Bullwinkle Moose Party began to work on the press conference that would announce the newest party to be added to the ballot of the United States of America.

The very next day, hundreds of reporters were gathered on Lola’s front lawn to hear the announcement that these two tenacious teddy bears were about to reveal. Friedrick started out the speech Lola had written for him with a wave for silence from the reporters. There was a hush over the crowd, and then a whir as all of the hand-held tape recorders were started. "Friends, Americans, Countrymen, lend me your ears. Four-score and Seven years ago, we the people began to wish for a new party. Okay, so it was only four months and seven days, but who’s counting? The quest for Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness can be enhanced with the introduction of this new party, and the nomination of Fluff and myself as the candidates to represent it in the bid for presidency. To announce the party, is my Sister and running-mate, Fluff."

At this cue, Fluff stepped up to the microphone and cleared her throat. "Ahem. Help me Obi Wan Kenobi; You’re my only hope." And then she stopped recording on the droid and tried to run from the blasting rays of the Storm Troopers, but… Oops. Sorry about that. Here’s what she really said:

"Ahem. In the tradition of the Rocky and Bullwinkle show, and of course in remembrance of Teddy Roosevelt, our hero, We have decided to call our party the Bullwinkle Moose Party!" At this announcement, the crowd was at first hushed, but then they cheered before erupting into a series of questions.
"Friedrick, you mentioned that the public clamored for a new party "four months and seven days" ago. How can you be so precise?"

Friedrick merely smiled enigmatically.

"Ms. Fluff! Ms. Fluff! How much of an influence is Bullwinkle J. Moose to your Campaign? Was he your inspiration, or are you just trying to use his fame to further your career?" Fluff bared her teeth sweetly at the question and curtsied, but nothing more. Just as more questions were about to be asked, Lola pushed the bears aside and said, "I think that is all for now. Please vacate the premises immediately." Once all of the campaign committee was inside, the group cheered. The announcement had been a success! So Lola ordered Pizza, and the bears made one more announcement for the group: "Remember, We wish that the White House were really bright green, and that will be our first change to implement once elected! (That, and Fluff will hang a poster of Chewbacca on the front door to make all Wookies feel more welcome)."

And that was that.

Thank you , one and all, and remember, F&F in ‘00!