A Christmas Story

The cast of our favorite series is about to expand! Yes, folks, it's true! Lovely Lola has been lonely long enough. Ever since Doofy Dave left, Lola has had to make do with the supporting antics of only Wodin the Wise, Stan Q. Fitzhubert, and her Fairy God-Cabby, Merv. Now, to unveil our new characters: Masked Mal-Lola's mysterious yet exuberant - and slightly confused - friend. Claudette the Crazy is Lola's frantic sister who has her own sense of drama. And finally-The moment you all have been waiting for: Gordon the Goob-Lola's fascinatingly bizarre "Um" friend. Now, to commence the Christmas Episode of "The Adventures of Lovely Lola!"

Lola was home from Big Yutz University for Christmas Break. Her home was a mass of chaos. While she normally enjoyed her confusing family, after the chaotic term at BYU, the last thing she needed was more chaos! Lola was planning a big surprise for her significant other-Gordon the Goob. He was a nice young man, just somewhat "goobery" at times. She was going to plant golfballs strategically in his front lawn in the shape of a heart-she had already spray painted them red. She giggled at the thought of his face when he saw the beautiful creation.

Unfortunately, all of the golfballs were in the trunk of her friend Masked Mal's car. Mal (short for Mallyre. Yes, it's spelled funny, ask Mal why) had just driven off with Lola's sister, Claudette the Crazy on a quest for the perfect present for Claudette's fiancée.

While Lola was distressing over the missing golfballs (she did not remember where she had put them), Claudette was also at her wit's end. She could not find her fiancée's favorite orange flavored mustard that he had been asking for for six months. In despair, Claudette pounded her head on the trunk of Mal's car. The trunk popped open, and Mal began to console Claudette and appraise the damage to her car. Meanwhile, Claudette noticed the golfballs. She did not know what they were for and neither did Mal. (Lola had kept the golfballs a secret VERY well.) Claudette thought they were perfect to spell out the name of her significant other on his front step. She, like Lola had, giggled at the thought of his face on Christmas morning.

It is not surprising that two sisters thought of two very similar ideas. When Mal and Claudette returned home, Claudette confided to Lola of her wonderful idea. Lola nearly burst into tears. She loved her sister and didn't want to steal her golfballs back. She called Stan to get some input. In a bitter Holiday Funk, Stan snapped, "Can't you think of something less sappy? Geez!" Lola was beside herself. She then called Wodin, who was having her own problems with Present ideas and could only mutter, "Silver giftwrap, or the gift bag?" Lola, utterly disgusted, turned to Mal as a mediator.

Mal, looking at her two friends, made a melodramatic gesture and stood upon a stool in the kitchen. "This is the Christmas season, and you are sisters. Lola, surely you can spare a few golfballs for Claudette? And Claudette: you must realize that it was Lola's idea first. But Christmas is not about golfballs, or "Um" Friends, or pudding, or Cheez Whiz. It is about Love, Sharing, and a competition to see whose stocking gets the most candy. So please, remember the Love, and that I would like a pair of lime green socks for Christmas. Thank you." Mal bowed.

Having spoken her mind, Mal stepped down and let the sisters resolve the problem. Claudette and Lola looked at each other and realized their foolishness. They agreed to help each other with their respective golfball creations. They also agreed to buy Mal blue socks instead, just to make her mad.

Lola whispered to her sister, "Santa's elves like to eat Cheez Whiz pudding when there is a full moon."

Claudette smiled and said, "Remember about the reindeer that liked to wear women's clothing."

And Christmas was saved. And that was that.

The End