The 2000 Election: Undone

Flashback:
It was November 7, 2000, the night of the Presidential Election. Friedrick, Fluff, Lola and the rest of their counterparts awaited the results from the polls. Fluff began to bite her nails and daydream about Chewbacca, her dream Wookie. Friedrick paced. Lola mumbled to herself while trying to tabulate the votes accrued by the tenacious teddy bears. She licked the point of her pencil and scribbled down numbers, muttering, "Yes… that's three thousand… Of course… carry the one Yes! Yes! I believe we have won!"

Friedrick's head jerked up and a light gleamed in his eyes. He rubbed his paws together and elbowed Fluff (she was still caught in her daydream where Chewy, as she affectionately calls him, carries her away for a romantic space war where the Death Star is glowering with impending doom upon the universe). Friedrick quickly went to Lola's side. "What have we won? Have we won the Buttercream Icing Eating Contest?"
Lola gave him a withering stare and replied, "No. Not some stupid contest, but the state of Alaska! That's an entire three electoral votes!"

The entire campaign group cheered. However, Wodin the Wise had to ruin for everyone. "Excuse me," she tried to interject above all of the commotion. "Excuse me…" Wodin held one finger in the air. "I have a point to make!" No one was listening to poor Wodin. "EXCUSE ME!" she shouted. Haven't you forgotten that you have to win the majority of Electoral votes? Three is hardly a majority."

The party stopped. And then they began to boogie again, completely ignoring the poor Wodin. Then Friedrick stopped. Wodin was right. He whispered to Fluff who whispered the disappointing news to Lola, who passed it on to the other campaigning friends. Soon, a silence fell over the group as they realized that, vote by vote, this was an election between Jorge Q. Shrub and Cal Bore. But as the group followed the brewing election, they realized that there was very little difference between the candidates. Uh…the number of their number of electoral votes, that is. And soon the candidates began to call the bewildered Friedrick and Fluff asking for those bears' votes. If the bears gave their votes to one of the candidates, that candidate would win. Friedrick and Fluff, however, didn't like either candidate. So they refused to relinquish any of their accumulated votes, in Alaska or any other state.

Election Night became Election Week. Cal and Jorge pressured the bears further, and still they would not yield to the powerful politicians. As much as Shrub and Bore disliked one another, they knew what had to be done. In a joint effort, they flushed themselves to the F & F in '00 campaign headquarters to increase pressure on the Bullwinkle Moose Party Candidates. When they arrived, Friedrick and Fluff did not take their arrival very well. Indeed, the bears ignored them. The candidates wanted to begin their smooth-talking, so they flipped a coin and Shrub won. He began to speak:

"My dear Bears. We must remember the integrity of the election that we are involved in. If you will give your votes to I or my Candidate, that would definitely solve some many problems."

Cal looked at Shrub disgustedly, and started in on his own persuasive measures. "Fluff, "he said appealingly. "Friedrick. My friends. I am the candidate most deserving of your votes. Because, as you know, this nation would not be what it is today without my great influence upon the current presidency…"

Both candidates began talking at once, and Fluff stuck her fingers in her ears. She looked at Friedrick, and they knew what they had to do. Lola, Wodin, and Stan could only look on in horror as Fluff pushed down Cal Bore and Friedrick tackled Jorge Q. Shrub. Both bears began to tap dance upon the candidates' foreheads, leaving numerous little footprints upon them. The men were knocked unconscious, probably thankfully for them. Lola, Wodin and Stan grabbed a hold of the candidates to flush them back to their respective headquarters. After that lengthy process was completed, the group flopped into their chairs, vowing to refrain from all politics… At least for four years.

Epilogue:
Dan Rather broke through the Bears' favorite episode of "Seinfeld,” (you know, the “Kenny Rogers Roasters” episode) causing the bears to become mightily enraged. "We interrupt your programming to bring you important news that both Cal Bore and Jorge Q. Shrub appear to have been attacked. Investigators are at the scene now, trying to discern, from what little evidence there is, exactly what occurred. It seems as though both candidates have been babbling incoherently, and are now in the care of physicians. More information will be relayed as soon as we know it." “Seinfeld” flashed back on the screen, and Friedrick and Fluff looked at one another with little smiles on their faces. Lola leaned over to Stan and whispered, "At least there were no Wookies." Stan nodded and said, "Yes, instead there was much bickering about birthday cakes and ice-cream."
And that was that.