Going Postal

So... Wodin the Wise is going to London! Yes, that's right, folks, London, England (As opposed to London, Ohio). She will be gone this summer, and she is ever so excited. However, she thought that going would be merely a matter of boarding a plane and arriving 15 hours later in Heathrow airport.

Hahahahaha! How naive... No, she needs money (well, she'll hit Friedrick and Fluff up for the dough) and a Passport. A passport! Aren't the English and Americans on good terms? Why do we need passports? Alas, Wodin decided that she would endeavor to get a passport. So she went and picked up an application at the local Post office. The application said she needed two photographs, a birth certificate, and money. Fine. She went and had two hideously grotesque photos taken, and for these photos she paid $10. She grudgingly paid the pierced photo man. Then she had to order certified copies of her birth certificate. And how do you do this? you might ask. Well, you pay them money! "Enough with the money, already!" said Wodin. She was broke and she hadn't even paid for the trip yet. She sighed, and paid the money. And then she waited. And waited. And waited. And finally her birth certificate arrived in the Mail. Hooray! She could go back to the post office and give her materials to the Post Office Man, right? It all seemed so simple once...

So on Friday she went to the Monmouth Post Office, and she asked Post Office Man if she could do her Passport stuff there. He said, "No. You'll have to go to Salem. Or Corvallis. Or Albany." Wodin the Wise smiled politely and backed away, all the while thinking to herself, "Albany? Albany?" She shook her head, and sighed. It was Friday, and she'd never get to Salem to turn her materials in before the Post Office closed. So she turned to her roommate, who graciously agreed to drive her to Salem, the very next day.

*Passage of Time....*

So, she and her roommate go to Salem, and find the very well-hidden Post Office. The pull up, get out, walk up to the door, and... "It's closed?" Shrieked Wodin. "It's closed?" The Roommate tried to placate her, but there was no placating to be done. Wodin was beside herself. "At home, in piddly Aloha, the Post Office is open on Saturday! Why isn't the post office in the STATE CAPITOL open on a @#$%*! Saturday?" (Note: No swearing was actually done. The symbols are inserted for stylistic and creative reasons. Thank you.) Wodin wanted to toilet paper the capitol building and the Post office, but her roommate was able to distract her with a quarter (Wodin is easily distracted by shiny things). So Wodin called her mother, Mommy Wise, who soothed her and said, "Spring Break is coming. You can ask for peanut butter covered newspapers and do your passport stuff then. In the meantime, breathe deep, and play with quarters." Mommy Wise knew her daughter's weakness. And so it was done. Wodin took deep breaths and played with quarters, ending up in a stupor until class started on Monday Morning. And that was that.

Brought to you today by the United States Postal Service, and the Letter 'W'.