Claudette's Wedding, Part 1

Life was crazy. Especially for Claudette the Crazy. She was getting married to her wonderful friend, Confused Chris. He was a lovely boy, but ever so confused about subjects having to do with domesticity. Claudette was trying to plan the wedding, but all Chris was doing was planning his next mass game of Friedrick and Fluff Virtual Reality Space Tag. He was actually planning this as a Honeymoon surprise for his Sweetheart, but she did not realize this (Duh, it's a SURPRISE!) and thought he was just goofing off.

Well, Claudette had many intricate plans for the wedding. She wanted the entire wedding to be held underwater, with everyone (guests included) in SCUBA gear. But this was a problem. After all, how many White wet suits have YOU seen? She wanted her wet suit to be trimmed in pearls (how appropriate for an underwater wedding! Claudette has stellar taste! Except for the whole "underwater" thing. Anyway, back to the story.). She also wanted her bouquet to be water lilies, and the bridesmaids to wear algae green (you see what I mean about the great taste? I wish I had that kind of taste!) and she wanted to have tropical fish released instead of white doves.

However, Claudette was panicked. The wedding was only a few weeks away, and she couldn't find a minister who could SCUBA dive. Also, one of her bridesmaids was hydrophobic and couldn't swim. One of the Groomsmen refused to go underwater (he was afraid it would ruin his hair) and there was still the matter of how the wedding march was going to be heard underwater. Claudette was going crazy. Her Confused significant other was all absorbed in his wedding gift to his future wife, and couldn't be disturbed.

Claudette burst into tears. She sat down on the edge of her bed with her head in her hands. Suddenly, in a great cloud of cigarette smoke, appeared Merv, the Fairy God Cabby. He took one look at Claudette and said, "Oh geez! Why do I get roped into handlin' these "womanly" crises? Sheesh! Okay. Shoot. Whaddaya want?" he asked in a slightly perturbed, nasal New York accent.

Claudette had not noticed the cabby's appearance, and was shocked to see him. He stood as he always did, about two feet off the floor with his perpetual three days growth of stubble, a cigarette dangling from his lips, and his potbelly hanging over his tutu.

Wait! This was different! He wasn't wearing a tutu! He was wearing a wedding gown! Claudette burst out laughing, and Merv looked at himself for the first time (he was dressed magically as he was transported to each assignment) and was disgusted to see himself. “Who thinks up these things? I just do the fairy gig to supplement my income as a cab driver!” Merv continued muttering and cursing under his breath until he was interrupted by Claudette.

“Excuse me, but I am having a crisis here, as you so astutely pointed out, and I am in desperate need of Fairy Intervention.” Merv acquiesced, and asked what she needed. Claudette stood up and began to pace about the room as she recalled all of the issues that had caused her to burst into tears. "Well," she began, "I need 20 tropical fish to release at the completion of the ceremony, Water lily bouquets for all of my bridesmaids and myself. . . " Merv began to take notes. Claudette was gathering speed and counting items off on her fingers as she listed them. ". . . I need a white wet suit trimmed with pearls, a tuxedo wet suit, a minister who can speak underwater without drowning, an underwater string quartet for the wedding march . . ." Claudette continued to list items, each more impossible than the last.

In frustration, Merv threw down his pencil and paper and stomped his feet (which looked rather silly, because he was standing two feet above the floor, remember?). "Fuggedaboutit. I GIVE UP!!!" And Merv disappeared, this time in a shower of rice. Claudette looked mystified. What was she going to do without an expert wedding planner like Merv? Then the idea came to her: A Friedrick and Fluff theme wedding!

Claudette quickly began work on the new plans, which included the guests of honor (you guessed it, Friedrick and Fluff themselves) as ring bearer and flower girl. Claudette was happier because there was ALWAYS Fluff and Friedrick paraphernalia to be found in the stores, and she didn't need to worry about Teddy bear-phobic bridesmaids, and she didn't need to stress about hearing music underwater anymore. Confused Chris was glad because it fit well with his Honeymoon present. Claudette's father was glad because a Friedrick and Fluff theme wedding was a great deal cheaper than renting SCUBA gear for all of the guests. And all were happy. Claudette murmured softly, "Water makes you wet at weddings anyways." And that was that.

Stay tuned for the continuation of this episode, entitled, "The Wedding, and its DISASTERS."

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Illness in the Ranks

Wodin was most distraught. She was sick. She was so sick, that when she opened her mouth, no sound whatsoever came out! (true story) She sat there amongst many people, and unable to join in because of her lack of noticeable vocal capability. She sat feeling most miserable.

But Lo! who should come along but the mysterious and ever-elusive Masked Mal! Mal sat down next to Wodin and began to talk, "Hi there! I noticed that you were sitting here all alone, so I thought I would come sit by you and cheer you up. Say, is something wrong? You know, I have the funniest story to tell about the other day, it involves a long complicated mess concerning things you don't even know what I am talking about because, well, you just don't, and…"

Wodin opened her mouth to tell Mal that she was ill, and not really feeling herself, but no sound escaped her mouth! Wodin realized with great horror that she was trapped! She could not rudely walk away from such a lovely friend as Mal, but she could not stand to listen to this silly story about the rebels having stolen the plans to the Empire's Galactic Space station that could blow up an entire planet. Whoops! I got a little carried away there in some other story. Anyways, you get the idea.

Wodin was just forced to suffer until (Series crossover. Refer to "The Chronicles of Friedrick and Fluff) Fluff, with all of her spunk, swung in on a vine like Tarzan and swept Wodin into her arms and swung her away from the crazy Mal, who was still telling her story with glee and didn't notice that Wodin was missing. But it was better that way. Everyone was happy. Mal thought she was being listened to, and Wodin escaped.

Wodin profusely thanked the little bear (in writing. Remember? She couldn't speak!)

Fluff waved away the compliments, and said, "Shucks, little lady. That's my job. Now, iffn you ever git in iny tr'bble agin, jest holler, an' Ah'll be there quicker'n a horsefly kin bite!" Fluff winked, and swung out of there.
Wodin returned to Mal 3 hours later (she had used the time to see a movie) and just in time for Mal to finish her recounting of her tale of the little ship (the Minnow) and the Skipper, and a professor, and Gilligan, and. . . . anyway, you get the picture.

Mal asked, "So what's YOUR opinion?"

Wodin scratched her chin, and thought, "I think that French fries are a delicacy best served when sprinkled lightly with marmalade and faerie dust." Mal clapped her hands and was overjoyed (this was the first time someone had actually listened to her! Or so she thought). Together, they went off home, just as Wodin remembered she had spoken! Her voice was back! And that was that.

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A Very Yutzy Christmas

Lola was back at Big Yutz University after her vacation home for Thanksgiving. Unfortunately, she was now in the big rush to hurry finals and get home for Christmas. But, being Lola, she was so stressed out that she couldn't think straight. She flopped down onto her bed to try and sort through the thoughts of what she wanted for Christmas:
"All I want for Christmas is my two front teeth. No, no, that was third grade. I want a hippopotamus for Christmas, only a hippopotamus will do. No, that isn't it either, that was sixth grade. Hmm." Lola mused. " Santa Baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me, I've been an awful good girl, Santa Baby, so Hurry down the chimney tonight. No, that was last year."

Poor Lola, she was so stressed out she couldn't even remember what she wanted for Christmas! "Where's a Fairy God-Cabbie when you need one!" wailed Lola. Just as she had uttered those words and was about to slip into a Christmas Funk, her Fairy God Cabbie appeared over her bed. Lola sat up, surprised. "You look different. Did you shave? No. That's not it." She paused and mused some more. "You quit smoking! Good for you!"
The Cabbie looked at Lola disgustedly. "Whadda Moron," he spat." For yer information, I did not shave. I am wearing a SANTA COSTUME WITH A FLUFFY WHITE BEARD!!"

Lola was shocked. She had not realized this, but after her Cabby had so nicely pointed this fact out to her, she realized it was indeed true. She beamed at him. "And what a nice costume it is! I had no idea that Fairy God Cabbies went seasonal!" Merv (for that was the Cabbie's name) gave a frustrated sigh and said, "I give up! Listen, Lila, or whatevah yer name is, you want a Friedrick And Fluff Complete Action Toy Set (TM) With a Bonus Package of Cheez Whiz (TM). Ya got that?" And with that, Merv poofed away in a cloud of scented Holiday candle smoke. Lola arose from the bed and, with her eyes shining, exclaimed, "Yes! That is exactly what I want!" And Lola went to inform all close friends, acquaintances, and Family members of her Christmas wish. And she was happy, and able to concentrate upon her finals.
THE END

Sponsored by the Friedrick And Fluff Complete Action Toy Set (TM) with a Bonus Package of Cheez Whiz (TM), found only at select Toy-Plex's near you!

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Lovely, Lovely Lola

Once upon a time, there was a girl. Her name was Lovely Lola. But then, you already know that. But she was indeed quite lovely, but not always the most brilliant girl in the world. (Lola's "namesake" should take no offense. She and Lola are QUITE different.) She loved College, and attended BYU (Big Yutz University). But there, she ran into some major problems. I mean, Major problems. She couldn't decide whether to Major in Underwater Basket weaving, or Lacrosse and Field Hockey education.

Feeling very lonely, and rather confused, she began calling her friends back home. Stan Q. Fitzhubert yawned at the question and said, "I am majoring in the physiology of the One-Horned-One-Eyed-Giant-Purple-People-Eater. That is SOOOO complicated you know, with that eye and all." She could offer no further help to Lola, seeing as she (Stan) had a term paper due on the subject of the O.H.O.E.G.P.P.E.'s personal hygiene habits in the wild (not in captivity). Lola sighed, and proceeded to call Wodin the Wise.

Wodin, after her unsuccessful attempt to attend the Big Yutz University, burst into tears at hearing Lola's voice, and was quite inconsolable. All she could get out was, "I w-w-want to be a y-y-y-Yutz!" Lola professed her condolences rather well, but hurriedly got off the phone, because Wodin's cries were rather shrill.

About to give up in despair and become an Early Education Major in spite of herself, Lola was very surprised to see a rather awkward, slightly obese New York Cabbie in a pink Tutu hanging over her bed. He had about a three-day's growth of dark stubble on his chin, and a cigarette dangled rather haphazardly from his lips. Lola was amazed.

"Whaddayawant?" The cabbie asked gruffly. Lola was too amazed to say anything just yet and so she just stared. The Cabbie looked rather pointedly at his watch and said, "Ya know, the meter's runnin. Ya bettah hurry up. I got other Fairy God-Cabbie Children to visit."

Lola was shaken from her stupor and said, "I need a major. Underwater basket weaving, or Lacrosse and field hockey education?"

The Cabbie said, "What do I look like? A guidance counselor?" and with a big puff of cigarette smoke, he disappeared.

Lola was in dire straits. She just then happened to look out the window, where she saw a Wombat. She shouted, "Eureka!" She had discovered her major: to study these elusive creatures of Australia. (Don't ask why there was a wombat in Utah. You don't want to know. Ok, I'll tell you. He was on vacation. With his Mother.)

Leaping with joy, Lola grabbed the Wombat, and went off to declare her major. Then she whispered to the Wombat, "Remember, when you chose a major yourself, don't ask the burly security guard for his opinion. He will just smear your face with pudding."

And that was that.

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Wodin and Big Yutz University

Allow me to introduce Wodin the Wise and Lovely Lola, longtime friends and wacky people. Let the story begin...

Wodin the Wise didn't feel so very wise. She felt rejected. She had thought she was good enough to enter a college she really liked, but it was not so. In all of her bitterness, Wodin took an industrial size package of toilet paper, you know, the kind large industries use to cut down on cost. It was a VERY large package. She could not carry it herself.

She was about to sit down and cry, when there was a bright cloud of smoke, and a New York Cabbie (with a three day's growth of stubble on his chin and a cigarette dangling from his lips) appeared. He was floating about 3 feet off the ground, and he was wearing a pink Tutu. "Whaddaya want?" he growled.
"I w-want to, to, Toilet p-paper the university that, that, that, r-rejected m-m-meeeee!"she hiccupped.
Her Fairy God-Cabbie rubbed his chin and said, "So? What's the problem? Ya got the T.P. Go to it. Quit yer blubberin'."
Wodin wailed louder, and the hiccupping intensified. "I can't get there! M-my toi-let p-paper is, is t-t-too big t-t-to, to carry!" She burst into fresh tears, and the cabbie put his hand on his hip and sighed loudly.
"Bippity boppity BLEEP" said the cabbie (well, he IS from New York!). And suddenly, Wodin found herself out side of Lovely Lola's dorm room! Immediately, she forgot about the T.P. Instead, she ran inside, and said, "I am here, and my Fairy God Cabbie..."
Lola looked at her quizzically. "What Fairy God Cabbie?" she asked? Wodin looked about, and could find no trace of the cabbie, except a cigarette butt on the ground. "Nevermind," said Wodin. "Just remember, Clouds look purple when you look at them through kaleidoscopes."

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Do Not Weep; All Is Not Lost

Today is the last of the Friedrick and Fluff Tales of Teddy Bears. Beginning tomorrow, you will experience the drama of Lovely Lola, Wodin the Wise (that would be ME!), and their friends as they become fast friends with those two tenacious teddy bears. Until then, read this:

"It's a Bird! It's a plane! It's Ronald!!!"
The happy reunion didn't last. Someone came and interrupted: Ronald Mc Donald! He was jealous of Fluff (and at this point, who wasn't), who had stolen his job. He climbed upon a ledge and threatened to jump if he didn't get his job back. Unfortunately the ledge was only two feet off the ground. Still, all those present were worried about Ronald's well being, so they brainstormed and everyone got a chance to try and talk Ronald off of the two-foot ledge. Frieda, the sourpus, didn't get anywhere, because she is so depressing. She said, "Oh, so you lost your job, huh? Don't kill yourself over that! When you don't have any money, THEN you can die!"

"I don't have any money!" Ronald cried. And that was that.
Finally they called in another out-of-date comrade: Wayne Newton! He told Ronald of his experiences with the "Demons" and Ronald realized how lucky he was not to have furry Demons in his life, so he stepped down. Unfortunately, he sprained his ankle. He was rushed to the hospital where grumpy cousin Frieda squirted Cheez Whiz on his swollen ankle. And that was that.

Nothing More Than Feelings
Well, Fluff found after three weeks that he agent was cheating on her. He was taking more than his ten percent share—let's just leave it at that. So she fired him, and searched and searched and searched for a new agent, but one just couldn't be found. Friedrick offered to be her agent, but Fluff knew he had no experience in that sort of thing so she said, "NO!" Finally, one person (if you can call him that) answered her ad: Ploppy Kerploppus: World famous Oceanographer and T.V. Star! Whoops... Wrong plot. Unfortunately, all he could say was, "Plop plop ploppy ploppus!" Actually, he got Fluff a good job—as a singer in a night club. Fluff had a beautiful voice. But Friedrick came one night to watch and became jealous because Fluff got so much attention. Friedrick jumped up on stage and began singing (in his terrible voice) "Feeelingsss! Nothing moore thaannn feeelingsss!" Fluff was so embarrassed that she jumped off the stage and ran home crying. Friedrick felt bad, so he went home and said, "I'm sorry Fluff. I didn't mean to be a sagebrush balancing on a twig growing in sand!" Fluff sniffed and said, "Antifreeze is pink at night and yellow in day, and tastes like chocolate in winter!" Friedrick knew he was forgiven.

More Cheez Whiz
Well, Hollywood was losing its novelty. Fluff and Friedrick were bored. Luckily for them their cousin Frieda came to visit. She brought lots of Cheez Whiz with her, and she drank it with a straw. This made Fluff sick, and (since she was white) she turned a pale yellow color, and whispered, "Oh my. Carrie Fisher was better than this, So was Wayne Newton." So instead of Blowing Chunks, she flushed herself to Las Vegas. There she found a Club and got up on stage and began to do the can-can and sing "La so lo Mio (if that's how you spell it) and she was booed off the stage. She didn't know why until she realized that Big Bertha, the Trumpet playing Elephant, had been playing when she came. Bertha tried to step on her, but Fluff was too small and too quick. She decided Las Vegas was a bad idea so she went back to Hollywood, the Jealous Friedrick, the Ploppy Kerploppus, and Frieda, the Cheez Whiz gobbler. Friedrick said, "I told you so. Next time, ride a caravan of ants and you won't get saddle sores!" Fluff was humbled. Ploppy Kerploppus said, "Plopp!" And Frieda asked if anyone wanted Cheez Whiz. Everyone regretfully declined.

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In Which Fluff Takes on a Corporate Mascot

Come one, come all, and hear ye the tales of two teddy bears!

The Burger Bear
Friedrick was in Hollywood with Fluff. They were glad to be together. Fluff continued to do Commercials for Mc Donald’s, yet somehow people would give her dirty looks as she went down the street. She was being recognized, but not in a good way. She went to her slimy agent and said, "This isn't working out. If I am going to do these commercials, you HAVE to stop calling me Ronald! Everyone knows that I am not Ronald Mc Donald! It doesn’t make sense to call me Ronald!" Fluff's agent considered the thought for the moment, and had a light bulb flash over his head: "I've got it!" He shouted.

"Friedrick will star with you and you can be the Burger Bear Twins!" Fluff squinted her eyes at the agent and said that she would have to talk it over with Friedrick. Fluff was jealous. She didn't want to share her fame (nor infamy) with Friedrick. So she went back to her agent and hypnotized him. She said, "Under my spell you will call me THE Burger Bear!" The agent never knew what hit him. The next time a commercial was filmed Fluff snuggled up to a blanket (like the Downy Bear) and a Burger (Like Ronald) and batted her eyelashes. From then on, Fluff was seen as "that cute little Burger Bear!" (TM Mc Donald's 1995). She loved it. Friedrick never even knew that he had once had the chance to make it big. He was too busy dealing with a new arrival: grumpy cousin Frieda. And Fluff liked it that way. (More on Frieda—She likes Cheez Whiz and was jealous of Fluff, so she came to steal her money. But it didn't work because Fluff stole her Cheez whiz and... Whoops. That's for LATER.)



O Wise Zen Master
Jeanette was in Oregon. She was lonely. She also had dirty toilets. She didn't know how to clean them because she had always had Fluff and Friedrick to clean them. She would have flushed to Hollywood, but last time she flushed without a guide she got stuck and frozen in Siberia. She thought for a long time about what to do, then she realized what she COULD do: She recorded a message in R2-D2 and sent it to Obi Wan Kenobi—Whoops. A little off track. Actually, she put an ad in the newspaper for a "Flusher Guide." Finally, someone responded: A Zen Master (you know, the guy from "Karate Kid"). Anyway, he told her she must concentrate and clear her mind, blah blah blah, and a bunch of other junk. Finally she flushed, but O Wise Zen Master just took her money and ran away laughing. Jeanette, luckily, still ended up in Hollywood. In fact, she ended up in Fluff's VERY clean toilet. Secretly, Fluff and Friedrick missed Jeanette, so it was a happy reunion and Jeanette said, "Dinosaurs are purple when Gobstoppers eat figs!" Only Frieda –who was a sourpuss -- didn't feel glad. Instead, she squirted Cheez Whiz on everyone.

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From Las Vegas to Siberia to Hollywood

Time yet again for the Chronicles of Friedrick and Fluff. As always, remember that You're the only one who thinks you're as cool as you think you are.


Fluff and Friedrick Love Popsicles
Fluff and Friedrick neglected to provide for food after Jeanette had been flushed, and after a week, they ran out of food. After another week, they ran out of money. Fluff now hated Las Vegas, and even though Friedrick tried to tell her that they could go there to earn money Fluff said the only way to get there was to go by toilet. Friedrick vetoed that idea. Then they decided they had to flush themselves to Jeanette. After about ten flushes they found themselves in Siberia! Luckily their fluffiness kept them warm!

Unfortunately, Jeanette had no such fluffiness and they found her an ice cube—and much too big to flush. So they got in a car and drove till it broke. Then they biked until the tires popped. Then they roller-bladed until the ball bearings rolled to the ground. Then they walked and walked and walked until their feet wore out and they bought a new pair at the foot store. The foot store also happened to sell blowtorches, so they bought two and went back to thaw Jeanette. When she was thawed they flushed back together and Jeanette still made them clean the toilets, but Friedrick had enough time to whisper to Fluff, "Yellow jackets crunch in your teeth when coated with peanut butter and blue grass." Fluff just cried.


Hollywood!!!!
After three weeks of scrubbing toilets Fluff found that her fingers were about to fall off, so she stopped. Jeanette saw and yelled at her, so Fluff jumped in the toilet and threatened to flush. Jeanette did not stop so Fluff flushed. She popped up in Hollywood in a public restroom. Just then a talent agent opened the stall door and exclaimed, "Oh my gosh! You're the next 'Downy Bear'! This is terrific!" The agent got Fluff a contract as the new spokesperson for Mc Donald's. She got the contract because Ronald's hair was out of style. When Fluff appeared on a commercial. Friedrick knew where to find her, and Jeanette was jealous. Friedrick then flushed himself to Hollywood. They were happy. When they spoke their first words to one another, they said the same thing: "Hamburgers are cold after you burn them in butter and grasshopper legs!" And they were happy.

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The Bears Meet a Star!

Now is the time for your daily dose of "Friedrick and Fluff: How Fluffy Are They?"

Carrie Fisher
Now, both Friedrick and Fluff were sick of water travel, so they decided to hitch a ride. They went to the road, and stuck out their thumbs, and who should come along but Carrie Fisher! She looked at them and said, "Ewoks! I haven't seen you for a long time! Hop in!" Friedrick and Fluff couldn't bear to correct her because she looked so happy. So they went along and talked gibberish: "Unga thingga wa!" said Friedrick. "Chingga wassa hang!" agreed Fluff. And Carrie was happy. Unfortunately, she just left them on the other side of Las Vegas, where she pinched their cheeks and drove off. "Well," said Friedrick," At least she wasn't a dinosaur sitting on a purple tree." And Fluff said, "No, she was a pig swimming in a vat of green chocolate sauce." Friedrick agreed.

Carrie Fisher, part 2

Still stuck in Las Vegas, Fluff and Friedrick got a job as a night show in one of the casinos. Unfortunately, Carrie Fisher dropped in one night. She saw that they weren't speaking Ewok gibberish and she flew into a rage. She jumped up on stage and began to dance to, "Tip-toe Through the Tulips." Friedrick and Fluff looked at each other and knew what they had to do. They pulled out their blasters and set them to stun and then took the princess to Lord Vader and... Wait. Wrong story. Actually, they pushed her down and tap danced on her forehead, and then ran away giggling. The next day, poor Carrie had no memory of the event at all, and she wondered why there were tap shoe prints all over her forehead.

"Me Jane-- I mean, Fluff!"
Fluff decided it was time to go home. She was tired of dancing. One night Fluff left Friedrick in the middle of the night. She swung like Tarzan on the telephone wires; it was loads of fun. Unfortunately, she got home and crashed through the front window. Jeanette made her wash toilets. Suddenly, Fluff felt an Urge, so in the middle of the night, she grabbed Jeanette and flushed her! Fluff laughed and laughed and thought, "The house is all mine! " Unfortunately she had forgotten that Friedrick was really in Las Vegas, and she missed him. Fluff hated to travel by toilet, but it was the only way. She closed her eyes and flushed. *pop!* She came up in Carrie Fisher's bathroom. Carrie took her to Friedrick, and the two bears flushed themselves home, and this time they didn't have to clean toilets! Fluff said, "Rocks are soft except when you drink mustard." Friedrick agreed and added, "Yes, but mustard is blue when you ride cats!"

NOTE: No harm is meant by this (fictional) characterization of Carrie Fisher. Please don't send hit men to my house, Ms. Fisher. Love, Wodin
ps--Do teddy bears have thumbs? Discuss.

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Friedrick and Fluff: The Second Installment

Here is day two of the wonderful Chronicles of Friedrick and Fluff. Click the link below to read the full story. I am trying to experiment with not making the posts so bleeding long.

Wayne Newton
Fluff and Friedrick were elated to be together. Together they danced with Wayne Newton in his Vegas show. One night Wayne talked and talked, and talked. He talked so incessantly that the bears couldn't dance. They got tired of waiting for their chance to perform, so they pushed Wayne down and tap-danced on his forehead to "Tiptoe through the Tulips." They received a standing ovation.

The Lawsuit
Well, Fluff never should have pushed Wayne, because the next day, he served her (and Friedrick) with a lawsuit! They did not have enough money to pay the lawsuit, much less a lawyer. They had to go to court anyway, so they sat in their chairs very still. The judge entered, took one look at the motionless Friedrick and Fluff, and said, "You can't sue Teddy bears! They can't even move! Bailiff, dump Wayne here in a Funny Farm! Lawsuit Dismissed!" Fluff and Friedrick decided that they'd had enough of Las Vegas, so they went home to Jeanette, who made them clean the toilet.

Purple Trees
Friedrick was bored. He had been home from Las Vegas for a week, and that entire week his true love, Jeanette, had made him clean toilets. Friedrick decided it was time for another adventure, but Fluff was tired of flushing herself places. So together they brainstormed. The bathtub drain had lots of little holes, all too small to travel through. The sink had the disposal in the way. The last resort was the washing machine, so they jumped in and turned the cycle to normal. Soon, a whooshing, sucking feeling came to them. When they next saw light they popped out of Wayne Newton's washing machine! He screamed and began pulling his hair out and yelling, "They're back!! The demons are BACK!!" Then he fainted and they ran away giggling. Next they read in the newspaper that Wayne had been dropped back in the loony bin. All Friedrick said was, "Trees are purple when dinosaurs sit on them." Fluff agreed.

Stay tuned for out next episode of: Friedrick and Fluff: The lost Chronicles!!!

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Let the tales begin....

I would like to commence retelling the tales of the Two Tenacious Teddy Bears. Learn where the terms, "my pickles are frozen," and "Peanut butter, Peanut butter," originated! I am sure you will enjoy them! I will post a few stories today, and few more tomorrow and the day after that! So, here we go:

Friedrick
Once there was a little bear. His name was Friedrick. He loved Jeanette very much. Unfortunately, Friedrick was only a little bear while Jeanette was a human; they could not get married-- unless they went and ran away to Las Vegas. So Friedrick ran away to Las Vegas, but he forgot Jeanette! Boo hoo!


Fluff
Once there was a bear named Fluff. She liked her brother Friedrick very much. When he ran off to Las Vegas she thought it was all Jeanette's fault, so Fluff bit her. Jeanette said, "Ouch! Bad girl! Now you must spend all day cleaning the toilet!" Fluff was sad. She decided to join Friedrick so she jumped into the CLEAN toilet and flushed herself to Las Vegas!

Friedrick and Fluff
You have read a story about Friedrick. You have read a story about Fluff. Here is one about both of them. Fluff kept flushing but she just couldn't find the right toilet to take her to her brother's hotel room in Las Vegas. Meanwhile... Friedrick had a job in Las Vegas dancing on stage with Wayne Newton! He danced and he danced and danced but he justwasn't happy. He wished Fluff were with him. Dejectedly, he went back to his hotel room. Meanwhile... Fluff was tired of flushing. She decided to flush one more time, and Voila ! She popped up to see Friedrick brushing his teeth at the sink! They were both so happy to see each other that they started to cry! Friedrick said, "Peanut Butter, Peanut butter!" And Fluff said, "My pickles are frozen!" The perfect end to a perfect day!

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Friedrick and Fluff Take Over

So I decided that Friedrick and Fluff (my very close, wonderful friends) need a place to live and survive, and thrive online, hence the blog. If only people would begin to believe that two tenacious teddy bears could some day rule the world...
Speaking of ruling the world, they are extremely put out that, yet again, they lost the presidency to Jorge Q. Shrub. It would have been nice to be the nation's first teddy bears to become President and Vice President, but they have come to accept that President Shrub has defeated them yet again. Keep in mind, however, that Friedrick and Fluff have every intention to run again in four years.
Just remember: Friedrick and Fluff are Great! Vote for them in '08!

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Wanted 

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